What is it about this society we live in that we feel the need to tell perfect strangers everything? With vlogs and blogs, Facebook, Myspace and Twitter, to name a few, we are always broadcasting to the world everything that lives within our heads. It's not even things that are that important most of the time: OMG, I went shopping and bought the cutest pair of shoes, now I'm going to walk the dog... so on and on and on. Not that this isn't interesting (even though some peoples can be boring). It's just makes me wonder why some people decide to do it.  What has changed that the realm of matress hidden diaries has transformed to one where people post it online for the world to read.

It's not just with blogging. Look at YouTube. It's all the same. Twitter, facebook, MySpace (though I think that one isn't at the top of its game). We are reaching out past the world of IRL to one where we LOL and TTYL. Now I am guilty as most others of living my life online. I have IRL friends, but I also have friends that I would never get to see much if it wasn't for Youtube, Facebook or others of the kind. There is one common ground between the internet and IRL and that's the longing to be heard.

I think a lot of people just want to be heard. Wither its for themselves, or if they have an important message that they want to get across. This is good. It's wonderful even, but I feel bad for the ones that arn't. The ones that even though the try there darndest, never seem to get a comment, or view, or like. It's sad. Maybe I'm bitter because sometimes I feel like one of them. I don't know. But whatever it is, I do know that not everyone can be a partner on YouTube, or have over 5000 friends on Facebook. I know this, and I accept it. But it doesn't stop me from daydreaming that one day, I will get my voice heard.

Summer is sadly almost over. This summer has been good as well. It hasn't been perfect, but it's been good. I never did get my job I moved home for.  I'm still waiting to hear about it though, so its not a done deal. I've been waiting for months though! It kind of sucks, but I've learned that people like my work, and really want me to work for them. It's just that I'm not a student, and most of the job in grants. Everyone has been fighting to get me working at my old job though. I hope it works out, but I have ideas for other places as well.I need to have plans.

I never got my own place either. In fact, I've been living in suite cases pretty much, going from house to house to house.

I'm working on getting my drivers license at long last. (please cross your fingers for me that third time will be a charm). I'm taking some refresher driving lessons as well. I'm nervous, but hopeful.

I've spent so much time outside this summer. I love it. I'd almost forgotten how much I love the outdoors. I'm working on a tan as well. It's coming along...somewhat. At least I don't look like Caspers long lost sister anymore.

I got sun burnt. It hurts when I scratch it (obviously), but it's not bad.

I love musicals. If you know me, then this fact is a no brainer.  I'd watch anything if it had music and lyrics. So, a few days ago when a friend's friend told me about Evil Dead:THE MUSICAL. I had to listen to it. Now, I wasn't really thinking it was going to be anything amazing, but I'm kinda embarrassed to admit I was wrong. I would actually go and watch this in a theater. Now, I'm only a few songs in, but so far I've been entertained. It's catchy, and fun. Plus, I grew up loving the movie. It has a certain connection to me.

I had also fallen in love with Hermionie Granger...oops, I mean Harry Potter the musical (the song playing as I write this is Granger Danger). Now, this is nothing more then comic genius. The songs are some of favorite of any genre. The acting is good. And it is hi-larious. I only wish I could see this in person.

Lately, when I've not been having a life, I've been busy packing to send things home, packing period, cleaning my room (cause, saying it looks like a pigs sty at the moment, would be an insult to pigs everywhere), and editing. Right now though, at this very minute, I'm more then happy adding new songs to my Ipod, and listening to some Harry Potter or Evil Dead. Contemporary music be darned! lol.

Okay, it's been forever and a day since I've posted. Things have happened. Things have changed. And somethings have just stayed the same. To be honest, I can't tell you which is good or bad.

The last few months have not been all happiness, and butterflies (mind you I don't like butterflies, but you know connotation, and all that). I've had some pretty nasty bumps. I got my first boyfriend last year just to have him cheat on me. Needles to say I dumped his ass.

But, I've also learned something...I'm strong. Yes, corny, whatever, but I am strong. I can do anything. Well, within reason. I've learned a lot about myself in the last few days funnily enough.

I got a tattoo. I have been wanting this for like forever and day (hello, boys and girls, this is apparently the word...okay, phrase, of the day). Seriously though, I've wanted one since high school. I was chicken though. I don't deal well with pain. I never thought I'd be able to go through with it. Pain and all, like I said...wrote...whatever... But, I did it. It's a big thing for me...and apparently I'm good with pain 0.0 who would have thunk it?

I moved away, again. And my worst fears have come true. I have to go back home. work, yadda yadda. This is not something I want. It is, but it isn't. Deep down it is a type of failure for me. But, at the same time this could be great. I know it's what I have to do. Cause I'm a 'good person' and gave my word to go home, and because I just can't go against my word....I just can't. It's not in me to do such a thing. This will be good. This will be very good. I'm going to get my own place at last. Go back to school. Work at a job I love.

I'm scared to move away again. So I think it will be awhile before I try. When I have everything planned better.

Against all my fighting, I've become bitter.. Not a lot. But, its there. I'm tired of being single. I'm tired of being overlooked. And I'm afraid. Wow, aren't I a bright person as of late?!

OKAY, OKAY! Time to shape up...what's been good???? My new story is wicked. I've come up with a way complicated story line, and I know I've made things hard for me, but I'm ready for the challenge. I have plans. Plans that I'll finish. I'm working on drawing and singing better. I love doing anything creative. That's why I want to go back to school to do graphic design.

We will see how my life goes. We will see...everyday is new. I just have to push myself more. Cause, as I've stated, I'm strong. And like always can't spell to save my life. Long live spell check!

Love and kittens!
xoxo

I'm having one of those days. It's not bad. Per say. It's just been, as I've stated a few words back, one of those days.

At work it wasn't busy but we did have people in. That's not bad. Not bad at all. I have been stressed and money and the future though. I know, I know, I need to stop worrying. I'm trying. I really am. It just keeps finding its way in. *le sigh*. I've been able to keep it at bay mostly. I made the most of my days blahs. There was no bread so I bought my lunch at work (it was very yummy by the way). That was kinda more expensive then I'd have liked but hey, it gave me some change. The rest of the day went really well with me getting to watch 17 Again (yes, I really love my job). The small things I had to get done went smoothly AND this small thing I was worried about turned out to be over nothing. But, then it happen. Something that made me worry again. It turns out that I've been charging the wrong price for something at work. AND today as well. So, yea, I felt pretty bad. But I know my boss won't mind. But, me being me, well, I still stress. Should I tell her? Should I just put my own money in. I just ended up letting the whole thing fester on the ride home until I finally tell my Mom and Sister. This is where it gets good. They both tell me its nothing. My sister has even had something like that happen at work too. I'm feeling a lot less guilty about it. It's even a good thing as I finally know the price for sure.

Still...I'm feeling down. Maybe I'm just tired or maybe I'm still stressing over silly things. I dunno. I do know that tomorrow is a new day. Everything will be great. And I need tea.

So I got a rejection. Boo hoo right? Well it still stings but I'm looking for the brightside and I've found it. Getting rejected only made me want to get better so I've decided to re-write my first ten pages again and well I've decided to go this whole new route. The amazing things about that is it works perfectly. I'm like wow, I totally forgot to add this character. I just left her out so I decided to re- add her.

Then, today I'm writing at work (I love my job!) and I add this new character. It's a boy, his name is Adam and he just kind comes spilling out. Wait, wait, wait, the best part is yet to come, I figure out he can be this old character that I love. He is my fave. character but he got cut and was going to be put in part two. Now he is so much bigger, so important and gets in the book more. Perfect, eh? I know, I love it. The best part yet I totally forgot that the old characters real name was Adam...or well part of it.

I love it!!!!

I also love that I've been getting perfect spellchecks!!!! Boo yah!!!! In your face spell check.

I got my first request for the first ten pages. Cue the squeeing...*squee*!!!! It's so exciting because I'm really doing this. I'm really living my dream.

At the same time it makes me nervous but only for those silly what if reasons. You know, the what if this is my only shot. I'm being positive though. It's going to work out. I'm going to do this.

I sent them today after a lot of extra work put into them. It's good. I had some friends look it over and then I worked on it some more. I waited almost two weeks and was beginning to worry about it being too long. I also was worried that if I didn't do it I'd back out. I did that once when my cousin's prof who worked for universal or something like that wanted to read my novel a few years back. I keep putting it off and missed my chance. I was determined that it was not going to happen that way again. It's out there and its ready.

Now we just wait. The good ol' waiting game is here again. lol.

Okay so I've finally done it! I've finished my second draft (okay re-write) of my novel Dawn of Destiny. I am really happy with it. It's still due for some editing but it's done. I feel good about it as well. Really good. It's only taken me like two years to do after all. The story line got a lot more uncomplicated and some characters cut but they'll come back in either book two or three. It's all coming together. I'm so happy about that!

YAY!!!! My very first interview is up. You can view it here: http://ravelda.livejournal.com/322102.html.
It's from ravelda's writers on the rise interview series. All I can say is thanks for the opportunity. It was really fun!

I've fallen in love with Torchwood. It's a spin off of Dr. Who, and is amazing. I am like hooked now. THANKS ERIC!

I think everyone should check it out. It's a lot darker then Dr. Who, but that's not as bad thing. It's kinda like a sci fi, horror movie, tv show. The characters who are co-workers are getting close, and I like seeing those kinds of character interactions in shows. It makes me feel good.

Captain Jack is also hot, so that's not bad. lol.




*drools*